March 2018

Photo by Joe Silva

Like everything else, there are ups and downs to being a writer. While I experience much joy getting my thoughts down on paper, there are many instances that I have to write for free. How many professions require one to work for free? Writing even a short article requires a lot of time and attention to make the writing the best it can be and then one has to polish it up before it is actually finished. What often happens is my hard work goes unrewarded and my spirit sinks to the point where I cannot find a flow in my words. What is the point of all this hard work if nothing comes of it, I’ve asked myself. Many times.I wish I was good at something more marketable and practical.

In the midst of this negativity and pessimism I realize I need to take advantage of resources to boost my motivation and inspiration.

That’s why I signed up to attend a writers conference. I registered last December but I could certainly use the boost now. It begins toward the end of this week.

When writers get together, I have found they are not competitive but to the contrary, very generous with encouraging fellow writers. They exchange resources, give constructive criticism in writer critique groups and applaud each other’s accomplishments. The speakers offer a plethora of information and tips to help writers succeed. There are pep talks about not giving up, to keep plugging away and eventually all our hard work and the long hours of writing will bear fruit. We may not rise to the level of Stephen King or James Patterson, but each of us will see some success if we just hang in there. The writing life is a long, slow, arduous journey for most. Overnight success rarely happens.

I know many writers write in isolation. Many do well, but I personally love being in a writers group. I find the support, advice, and friendship to be invaluable. I often don’t meet others who enjoy writing, so when we writers get together, that time is uplifting.

Weather forecasts predict a snowstorm, so I’m just hoping I’ll get to the conference this year. Wish me luck!

Photo by Nicole De Khors

I just returned from Florida to attend my uncle’s funeral. He was 95 years old and totally devoted to family. He leaves a huge gap for all who knew and loved him. I may write about him someday but right now I am still processing his passing.

In Florida, I saw and connected with relatives I hadn’t seen in years. All of us used to live in Rhode Island but now we are spread out in different parts of the country. Of course, we still share our connection as well as beautiful family memories. If only we could all live near each other once again. Fortunately, I keep in touch with many of them through Facebook and feel they are still a part of my life.When I saw my cousins’ children, whom I hadn’t seen since they were toddlers, I instantly recognized them because we share pictures and tidbits of our lives on Facebook.

No, this isn’t a Facebook ad. I only want to emphasize how much I appreciate the blessing of connecting with family even though we are all busy and live in different places.

Actually, I have been steeped in memories of relatives for the past few years. You see, another uncle has been occupying my thoughts. In my next novel, one of the characters is afflicted with leukemia. This beloved uncle passed away from this disease in 1983 and while writing the story, my thoughts kept turning back to him, his wife, their sons, the sons’ wives and the grandchildren. Memories of family Thanksgivings, cookouts, and other get-togethers have been on my mind. While I was growing up it never dawned on me these days would end and we would all move on to new stages in our lives, no longer having opportunities for visits throughout the year. I cherished these memories while writing, even though my novel has fictional characters that have no connection with my relatives.

This is one of the reasons I find writing so rewarding. Though my uncle’s leukemia was a tragedy for him and our family, writing the story has returned me to those days. When we all got together, my sisters and I would take turns sitting on my uncle’s lap and he would shower us with attention. When one of his sons had a daughter, my uncle would light up whenever he saw her and she became the center of his existence. He loved to joke and I remember his wide, generous smile and the good feeling all of us had to be around him. His wife, my father’s sister, was sweet and whomever she was speaking to, she made that person feel they were the most interesting and important person to her. She was smart and talented and always down-to-earth. For years she looked like she never aged. Like her husband, the family was everything to her.

In my next novel, I emphasize the importance of family above personal ambitions and individual pursuits. Life with its unexpected twists and turns doesn’t always go as planned and there can be much heartbreak and disappointment along the way. But I strove to make the responsibility of caring and supporting loved ones paramount while on life’s journey, modeled after my own family and relatives. Truly, our memories are what makes us.