Inspirational Individuals

A Deep, Sad Loss

On June 25, 2020 my life changed forever. My beloved father, Stanley S. Kaplan, passed away at 91. He was a major influence and inspiration in my life, always guiding and supporting me, even when I was at my lowest. It is ironic that in my new novel, I write a detailed scene of children losing their devoted father and I am actually experiencing the same heartbreak in real life. I must now learn to continue living without having him to turn to.

I have so many memories: his optimism and encouragement, his devotion to my mother during their sixty-year marriage, and his unending care and concern for me and my sisters. When I was very young my father would take me to what he referred to as “the secret place” because we never told anyone where we went. It would be a visit to the park and afterwards, he would take me out for ice cream. My father had read that it was difficult to be a middle child, so he would occasionally take me out alone to make sure I was getting enough attention. And after I was married, I had a difficult pregnancy because I was carrying twins. My husband was working long hours and I couldn’t be alone, so my parents picked me up from New Jersey and I stayed with them in Rhode Island. Since my twins were born premature and I needed time to recover, my parents attended classes at the hospital to learn about premature babies.

His kindness did not stop with his family. One time while growing up we were traveling to a Cape Cod vacation and ate in a restaurant. As we were driving away, my father realized that he forgot to leave the waitress a tip. He turned around on the highway to return to the restaurant. On his obituary page, a neighbor wrote that when he lost his own father at a very young age, my father would invite him over to lift weights and was always very kind to him. And a cousin of mine recently told me that my father treated him more like a grandson than a cousin, and whenever he and his mother came to visit, my father gave him toys when he was young and advice as he grew older.

Dad, I will carry your love and goodness in my heart forever.

Idelle Kursman is the author of two novels: True Mercy and more recently, The Book of Revelations.

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Again!?

I write this blog with a heavy heart. On Saturday, April 27th, the last day of Passover, the day Jewish people say Yizkor, a prayer for family members who passed away, a gunman opened fire in the Chabad of Poway in San Diego, California. He killed one woman and injured three others.

This was only six months after a gunman went on a shooting spree in the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Like many people, I keep asking, “Why? Why take the lives of innocent people and leave so many others traumatized? What goal could these crazed gunmen possibly be achieving?

And just like the Pittsburgh shooting, the world lost a very special individual.

Lori Gilbert-Kaye, 60, was attending the synagogue not only because it was the Sabbath and Passover, but also to recite Yizkor for her mother, who passed away in November. She was one of the founding members of the Chabad synagogue. Lisa Busalacchi, a friend of Kaye’s since they were in second grade, said that “. . . if someone were sick or someone died, she was the first one there with food or asking what she could do.” Another friend recalled when a member of the synagogue was diagnosed with breast cancer, Kaye drove her to every doctor’s appointment and helped care for her children. Witnesses say Kaye’s final heroic act was shielding Rabbi Yisroel Goldstein from the gunman’s bullets.

Still the gunman managed to shoot the rabbi, who was rushed to the hospital. Doctors operated on him but he ended up losing a finger.

There were other heroes in this shooting. Almog Peretz, 34, was injured while protecting Noya Dahan, his 8-year-old niece, and other children from the shooter. Dahan was also injured.

Oscar Stewart, 51, a construction worker who served in the Navy and Army, shouted at the gunman, who froze, dropped his gun, and ran away. Stewart chased him to his car and pounded on his car window. The gunman drove away but was later apprehended.

Jonathan Morales, an off-duty US Customs and Border Patrol agent, also chased the gunman to his car. He told Stewart to step away and began shooting at the car. Morales then went into his own car and continued shooting until he hit the gunman’s car.

The gunman was identified as 19-year-old John Earnest, a nursing student at Cal State University, San Marcos.  He grew up in a middle-class family near Poway, was an honors student, and an exceptional pianist. Earnest published a manifesto online shortly before the attack. It is eerily similar to The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, a famous antisemitic book in which Jews are accused, among other things, of controlling the media and the economy.

I think Oscar Stewart said it best when he told reporters that “If you’re ignorant and you don’t know what people are like, you don’t know that I’m a person just like you. I go to work every day in a manual labor job.  “. . . supposedly he said in his manifesto that the Jews control this and that—I don’t control anything. I go to work just like you every day. He didn’t know that.” He went on further to say, “The most important thing I want to share is that we need to know each other. If you make an opinion on anyone, you need to know what they’re about, and who they are. You can’t generalize and say every blue person is evil because they’re blue. That’s ridiculous.”

References

Joffre, T. (2019, April 28). Suspect’s Manifesto: Jews deserve hell and I will send them there. Retrieved from https://www.jpost.com.

Kamim, D. (2019, April 29). Poway Chabad Rabbi had asked Border Patrol Agent to pray armed-just in case. Retrieved from https://jewishweek.timesofisrael.com.

Oster, M. (2019, April 28). Lori Gilbert-Kaye, 60, killed in Poway attack, shielded rabbi from bullets. Retrieved from https://www.jta.org

Stoltzfoos, R. (2019, April 28).  Combat Vet who stopped the Synagogue Shooter: “I scared the hell out of him.” Retrieved fromhttps://flipboard.com.

(2019, April 30). FBI says received vague tips ahead of deadly California synagogue shooting. Retrieved from https://www.reuters.com.

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Austin, Minnesota: An Autism-Friendly Town

 

The Famous Hormel Historic Home

In my novel True Mercy, Bruce often had to worry about his son Adam’s behavior in social settings. But if the story took place in Austin, Minnesota, he would have had much less to worry about. That’s because Austin is an autism-friendly town. Ten years ago, the community used their resources to educate local business owners about autism and train them to be aware of these customers’ needs. The town even has a community autism resource specialist. Therefore, Austin’s residents are probably more aware than most about the signs of autism that my story’s character Adam displayed: intense fixation on specific topics, unusual body movements like hands flapping, echolalia (word repetition), and meltdowns caused by feeling overwhelmed.

So how did the small town of Austin make itself autism-friendly? Just go in the Hormel Historic Home, a nonprofit museum dedicated to all things Spam, the canned meat that has been produced by Hormel Foods there for 81 years. Mary Barinka works there. She once worked as a Hormel marketing executive and is now the town’s autism resource specialist as well as a museum employee. Barinka has a sixteen-year-old daughter with autism. Along with working at the museum, she handles questions and requests from parents that can range from how to give a presentation to new business owners and their employees on becoming autism-friendly, where to find a good speech therapist, and how to help a local community college launch a special autism program.

You may wonder what business owners must do to make their establishments autism-friendly. Often individuals with autism react negatively to overstimulation, so these changes can include dimming the store’s lights, lowering the music volume, and training employees to speak slowly and in short phrases, and to be prepared to have more patience than usual.

The program began when retired Hormel executive and family friend Gary Ray asked Barinka if her then six-year-old daughter was able to participate in summer camp. Barinka told him she and her husband would like her to attend camp but it was not possible because they would need the camp to understand their daughter’s special needs and they would have to hire a helper. Ray and his wife then offered a donation for Barinka to start a camp. She jumped on it. The Ray’s have since donated over $100,000 to fund more programs such as a monthly respite night with children’s activities to give parents and caregivers a break, a peer program at the high school where student volunteers to spend time with another high schooler with autism one-on-one, day camps, and of course, the museum.

Hearing about the town’s programs, new families have moved in. Barinka also gets calls for advice from other towns who would like to set up their own autism-friendly programs.

Perhaps someday I will be able to visit Austin, Minnesota. I am sure my fictional character Adam and real-life individuals with autism would thrive in this town.

Information for this post came from The Washington Post article “The town that gave the world Spam is proud to be ‘autism-friendly’ by Amy Ellis Nutt.

True Mercy can be purchased on Amazon, IngramSpark, and Smashwords.

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Thai Cave Rescue: Finally, News to Inspire

Photographer: Adam Sherez

I have a voracious appetite for keeping up with the news, but after days of reading or watching TV following Meghan Markle breaking royal protocol by crossing her legs at public events and the continual mud-slinging of the country’s politicians, it was refreshing to read about the dramatic rescue of the 12 boys and their 25-year-old soccer coach who were trapped in a cave for over two weeks in Thailand.

Like most people, I read the articles and watched the news with growing trepidation about their chances of rescue after being trapped while under threat from heavy rains flooding the cave and their dependence on oxygen tanks. The soccer team was exploring a cave after soccer practice, and since it was rainy season in Thailand, a downpour flooded the tunnels and they became trapped. Oxygen tanks and food and water were brought down while rescue crews worked tirelessly to keep them alive while planning their rescue.

A few days ago a former Thai navy diver died while attempting to bring oxygen supplies down to the cave. Unfortunately, his own oxygen supply ran out. At that point their fate looked bleak.

But on Tuesday, while reading about which NBA players were likely going to stay on their teams and which may be traded and Kim Kardashian’s little daughter North West making her fashion debut, I was happy and relieved to find out that all thirteen young men were rescued. And even more heartwarming, it was an international effort—divers and other help came from Britain, the US, Australia, and Israel along with the Thai Navy SEALS.

While I don’t wish for anyone to be in danger and in need of rescue, it was certainly a story of substance and encouragement. Apparently, others thought so as well. A Hollywood movie producer and a major publisher have expressed interest in bringing their story to the public.

Clearly, this was a news item that touched our spirits and gave us the inspiration we all crave.

RIP Saman Kunan, a former Thai Navy seal, who passed away in his valiant attempt to rescue the boys.

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Shaquem Griffin and NFL: Story of Inspiration

I’ve been wanting to write a post about an inspirational person. This past weekend, I saw Shaquem Griffen and his twin brothe Shaquill on TV during the NFL draft and realized I had my post.

Shaquem Griffen was born with a pre-birth condition known as Amniotic Band Syndrome, which occurs when a limb in the fetus becomes entrapped in amniotic bands while still in the womb. In Griffin’s case, a band wrapped around his left hand had cut off circulation. Pain wracked his hand during his first few years of life, and one day his mother found him in the kitchen trying to cut off his hand with a knife. The next day his family took him for surgery to amputate that hand.

Shaquem said he had to work harder than everyone else to prove he was just as capable. He and his twin brother Shaquill played football growing up, and both earned scholarships to the University of Central Florida. However, during their first years of college, Shaquill played on the UCF football team while Shaquem got redshirted for the first year, playing second string, and then getting bumped down to third string. Then in the third season, his luck changed. The coach brought him back to play for the team.

And play he did. For the next two seasons the team was the undefeated, national champions. In 2016, Shaquem was named the American Athletic Conference Defense Player of the Year.

Now Shaquem has been drafted to play with the Seattle Seakhawks, reuniting him with Shaquill, who was drafted by Seattle last year.

Shaquem has a message he wishes to impart based on his life experience:

I’ve had people doubt me my whole life, and I know that there are a lot of kids out there with various deformities or birth defects or whatever labels people want to put on them, and they’re going to be doubted, too. And I’m convinced that God has put me on this earth for a reason, and that reason is to show people that it doesn’t matter what anybody else says, because people are going to doubt you regardless. That’s a fact of life for everybody, but especially for those with birth defects or other so-called disabilities.

The important thing is that you don’t doubt yourself.

In addition, Shaquem’s father taught him never to quit with a motto he always keeps in mind: “Nothing comes easy.”

Shaquem Griffen drafted by the Seahawks

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