A Deep, Sad Loss

On June 25, 2020 my life changed forever. My beloved father, Stanley S. Kaplan, passed away at 91. He was a major influence and inspiration in my life, always guiding and supporting me, even when I was at my lowest. It is ironic that in my new novel, I write a detailed scene of children losing their devoted father and I am actually experiencing the same heartbreak in real life. I must now learn to continue living without having him to turn to.

I have so many memories: his optimism and encouragement, his devotion to my mother during their sixty-year marriage, and his unending care and concern for me and my sisters. When I was very young my father would take me to what he referred to as “the secret place” because we never told anyone where we went. It would be a visit to the park and afterwards, he would take me out for ice cream. My father had read that it was difficult to be a middle child, so he would occasionally take me out alone to make sure I was getting enough attention. And after I was married, I had a difficult pregnancy because I was carrying twins. My husband was working long hours and I couldn’t be alone, so my parents picked me up from New Jersey and I stayed with them in Rhode Island. Since my twins were born premature and I needed time to recover, my parents attended classes at the hospital to learn about premature babies.

His kindness did not stop with his family. One time while growing up we were traveling to a Cape Cod vacation and ate in a restaurant. As we were driving away, my father realized that he forgot to leave the waitress a tip. He turned around on the highway to return to the restaurant. On his obituary page, a neighbor wrote that when he lost his own father at a very young age, my father would invite him over to lift weights and was always very kind to him. And a cousin of mine recently told me that my father treated him more like a grandson than a cousin, and whenever he and his mother came to visit, my father gave him toys when he was young and advice as he grew older.

Dad, I will carry your love and goodness in my heart forever.

Idelle Kursman is the author of two novels: True Mercy and more recently, The Book of Revelations.

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